I’ll set the stage: It’s an Indian Native American summer night. I’m drinking a Bud Light in my car in the Home Depot parking lot, ya know before you couldn’t do that. My dishwasher took a shit, so naturally, I gotta’ get lubed up and fire off a couple of parlays before a big purchase. The event of choice–UFC Fight Night: Rodriguez vs Lemos. The whole card. Inside, outside, upside down. I can hear you, just put it in the round-robin and save yourself some time. I told you I’m putting off buying a dishwasher.
So I finish up in the parking lot and meander into the store. I know where they are, but I putz around the drills like I need a smoother one to hang on my wall and never use. I return to the appliances, find a pretty dishwasher that matches the tone of stainless in my kitchen, and make the purchase.
Fast forward to the next evening, I’m glued to my couch watching bloodsport (little b), and up comes this fight Minner vs Nuerdanbieke. I check my bets and Minner is a staple in nearly 75% of my action. I won’t bury the lead, Minner lost by TKO early in the first round. Looked like he blew his knee out on one of the first kicks he threw. I finish watching the fights, knowing I’m takin’ a fat L on the night.
In the days after the fight, news started to break about an investigation into Minner’s coach, James Krause. Allegations have been lobbed of suspicious betting activity by the public on a very specific outcome along with speculation that Minner’s knee injury occurred prior to the fight. To this date, there have been no conclusions or further details released on the findings of the investigations.
Back to the Present and UFC 309
Why bring up a 2-year-old fight? This weekend is UFC 309. Buried in the middle of this card is Onama vs Romero. David Onama formerly trained under, you guessed it, James Krause. They broke ties shortly after the controversy arose, as many re-assessed their relationships with Krause. I’m not gonna break down this weekend’s fight because it’s un-betable, Onama is -1500. But if you want a laugh, know all this, and go watch Onama vs Landwehr. Imagine me twisting in the wind with an Onama ticket. These are the memories that haunt me.
So why the Maytag interlude? The dishwasher gets delivered and installed a few days later. It’s a dishwasher, but something is off and I can’t put my finger on it. Come to find in the manual, it’s an ADA dishwasher. I drag my feet dealing with the return (my procrastination) and they won’t take it back cause it’s been too long. I end up selling the thing for a song and take a bath once again. As they say, buyer beware.
But you didn’t read all this way just to get to know lil ole me. UFC 309 is a card featuring the bout we’ve been drooling for since those videos of Jon “Bones” Jones looking like a thick TO training in his driveway. Jones vs Miocic promises to thrill, but let’s be honest. These fuckers are getting a bit dusty. They have 2 fights between the two of them in the last 5 years. If it gets out of the first, it’s gonna be a slog. Jones will crawl all over Miocic. I expect an underwhelming split decision, Jones, the UFC needs its golden boy.
Who do pick in Jones vs Miocic? Lets us know in the comments below or on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Bluesky, or TikTok.
